I wish I had a dime for every time I have heard the words ” arneses what if he is intimidated or I hurt his feelings when I bring home this sex toy”? This topic comes up all of the time at our in home sex toy parties.
However, most men these days seem to embrace the toys and the really SAVVY men know that they only make their jobs easier! Integrating a quiet vibrator into your lovemaking can make MOMMA EXTRA HAPPY…….. and we all know the old adage about when MOMMA ain’t happy. As I love to say, really savvy men know that sex toys do all of the heavy lifting for them. And, speaking from personal experience, nothing can replace a living, breathing, warm, good smelling partner.
But, even in 2009 I still get one or two women, per party, who ask me that question. In some cases, I think it’s more about the woman being afraid to communicate with her lover that she is ready to enhance their bedroom fun. And sadly, in some cases, it’s true that their male partner really does not like the idea of a toy. (Men are mostly worried that they will be replaced, or the toy will be bigger then them.)
It turns out that some unenlightened men see a vibrator or a dildo as a replacement. But, like my title says TOYS ARE JUST AN APPETIZER. They are only designed to get us warmed up and as we all know, women typically need more warm up time then men. Our partner is our entree! Rarely will an appetizer really satisfy us. Sometimes an appetito is plenty, but usually the appetizer just builds the anticipation for the main course. (Anticipation….. ahhhh…… we all love anticipation, don’t we.)
So, back to my point to the guys. If your girl takes 20 minutes, why not bring something like a SLENDER SENSATIONS or a SILVER BULLET into your foreplay repetoir. Use the soft vibration on her nipples, on her neck and back, move it around slowly on her lower tummy or try using a little more pressure with it on her pelvic bone. Don’t just plunge right in. Take the toy and tease her a bit with it to get her warmed up. If you take the time to help the blood flow increase to her pelvic region, what you will find is a woman who is HIGHLY responsive and who will have an orgasm more easily.
Make sure she is warmed up and lubricated before you allow it to touch her clitoris. If she is not lubricating on her own, do not take that as a personal affront to your skills. Sometimes it’s hormonal and sometimes it’s just how we are wired. Crazy things like too much Starbucks, allergy meds and lack of sleep make it difficult for us to lubricate and reach orgasm. I recommend using Eros Silicone Lubricant. It’s super female friendly and with no flavor, no scent, and no preservatives.
Men should really EMBRACE toys. If you have difficulty giving your partner an orgasm orally, incorporate a soft quiet toy like the FINGER FUN into your oral lovemaking. Using it in conjunction with your tongue and fingers can give her that little extra vibration she needs to give her an orgasm from oral. Just think how much less work your tongue has to do. This toy is soft, waterproof and quiet. It’s small enough that it won’t get in the way and is subtle enough it won’t be TOO strong for her.
When I do the co-ed Pleasure Parties I love to coach the men to make sure they take care of their female partner first. Give her an orgasm before you have any penetration at all. If you want to see your wife or girlfriend’s LUSTY VIXEN come out for a little while – give her an orgasm, then have intercourse, and then give her another orgasm after. You may see a side of your partner you have never seen before. Women can be extra ravenous and aggressive after their first orgasm and will be begging you for intercourse after that!